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We recommend Dr. Eichin Chang-Lim’s books Talking About Adolescence: Book 1: Anxiety, Depression, and Adolescent Mental Health and Book 2: Talking About Adolescence: Book 2: Supercharge Your Body and Brain Power. How To Stop Arguing With Your Teen: 10 Tips For Parents
Parenting Teens Means Learning to Love Hard When They're Hard to Love · Dr. Eichin Chang-Lim is the author of the “Talking About Adolescence” series. She is passionate about promoting mental health awareness and helping teens live happy and fulfilling lives. For more, visit eichinchanglim.com. Get tips, advice and tons of support and encouragement to help you be a better, stronger and more confident parent to your tweens and teens.The negative effects of harsh, strict discipline are vast. This parenting style harms relationships and has long-term consequences.This finding has sparked a vast interest in studying adolescent brain growth, particularly in relation to typical mood swings, risk-seeking behavior, and impulsivity during the teenage years. It is important to understand that the discord between parents and teens often stems from adolescent brains not functioning like fully developed adult brains.Some key points from research suggest that children may develop high ambition and achievement, self-discipline, and respect for rules and order. · However, there are some negative consequences. According to psychological studies, harsh parenting practices, often referred to as authoritarian parenting, can have significant implications for a teenager’s mental health.
Teens also vary in the rate and ... for discipline, guidance, love and support will vary throughout their teenage years. In the next section we provide some guidelines for parents to help them figure out how to provide direction and boundaries to their adolescents of all ages ...
Teens also vary in the rate and speed that they develop self-discipline and good decision-making skills so their needs for discipline, guidance, love and support will vary throughout their teenage years. In the next section we provide some guidelines for parents to help them figure out how to provide direction and boundaries to their adolescents of all ages without interfering too much, or too little.Discover how parents can strike the right balance between love, discipline, independence, and responsibility when raising teenagers. This balance is crucial for their security, value, and resilience. Get guidelines for providing support and guidance without being overprotective.Discipline, if it is excessive and harsh, can become controlling and abusive while a lack of discipline is a type of neglect. Meanwhile, independence and freedom without responsibility can place youth in highly dangerous situations. To complicate things further, the correct balance constantly changes as youth continue to mature throughout their adolescent period. When parents strike the right balance of love with discipline, liberties with limitations, and independence with responsibility, adolescents feel secure, valued, and loved.Sometimes it is tempting to think of adolescent children as mini-adults who no longer require the same degree of parental support and direction as they once did when they were younger; but, this would be an erroneous conclusion. In fact, during early and middle adolescence, youth may need even more emotional support, guidance, and discipline than their younger siblings.
Most parents and families have a hard time with their teenage sons and daughters at some point. Knowing this doesn’t make the ups and downs any easier to handle. Our ten top tips might help to smooth the way.
Giving encouragement and taking an interest in your teenager is as important as praising them. Praise them for their efforts and let them know when they do something that pleases you. Don't be afraid to tell them that you love them, even if you get no response. ... Let them know that you've made mistakes and tell them some of the things that you would do differently if you had the chance. Let them learn from the consequences of their actions - don't protect them too much. ... Parents today have a difficult job to do but parents don't need to be perfect.Being a parent isn't always easy. The teenage years can be particularly difficult as teenagers may behave like adults one minute and children the next.Don't expect teenagers to agree with everything you say. The teenage years are a time of testing opinions and people. Sometimes parents and teenagers have to agree to differ.Teenagers say that their parents do not listen to them. Let your teenager know that you have time to talk. Share your values with them but don't impose them.
How do you breach the barriers of adolescence? Here are 10 parenting tips for raising teenagers.
The teen years bring plenty of parenting challenges.They must be teenagers. Don't despair. It's natural -- and important -- for kids to break away from their parents at this age. This emotional separation allows them to become well-adjusted adults. Yet these must be among the most difficult years for any parent. To help with parenting tips, WebMD turned to three national experts:When kids see them, see how their friends act with their parents, they can get a better sense of those friends," Elkind tells WebMD. "It's the old adage, you catch more bears with honey than vinegar. If you flatly say, you can't go out with those kids, it often can backfire -- it just increases the antagonism." 4. Decide rules and discipline in advance."If it's a two-parent family, it's important for parents to have their own discussion, so they can come to some kind of agreement, so parents are on the same page," says Bobrow. Whether you ban them from driving for a week or a month, whether you ground them for a week, cut back on their allowance or Internet use -- whatever -- set it in advance. If the kid says it isn't fair, then you have to agree on what is fair punishment. Then, follow through with the consequences. 5. Discuss 'checking in.' "Give teens age-appropriate autonomy, especially if they behave appropriately," says Kaslow.
He thinks it gets “instant results.” I think it’s cruel.
What your husband is doing is not “effective” parenting; it is manipulative and abusive. You’ve already asked him to stop, and he hasn’t—now you need to tell him. Make sure he knows that this is a dealbreaker for you, and keep your eye out for any future “discipline” or behavior on his part that involves threatening your children in such a cruel way.This might sound silly to you, but I also think it’s worth praising whatever effort or improvement you see, whenever you can. While most tweens and teens won’t admit to wanting that positive recognition, many do appreciate and need it. Any time we can build our children up instead of tearing them down, it’s worth it.I have said as much to Evan and asked him to stop, but his answer is that it gets instant results, so he won’t “get rid of the most effective tool in the parenting box.” It may get the desired result, but I hate seeing my kids despondent on a routine basis and think what Evan is doing is cruel and psychologically harmful.It’s gross and frankly disturbing that your husband sees threatening the family dog as some kind of brilliant parenting hack. Even if you don’t believe he’d follow through with these threats, the kids apparently do, which is awful.
Will, Ruby and Grace are among those swapping their devices for basic phones, for five days.
Ruby acknowledges that having a break from her smartphone “has opened up more conversation” with her parents - and her mum, Emma, agrees the detox is having a positive impact on her daughter’s behaviour. “Ruby is pretty addicted to her phone, so it just gives her a chance to see what it was like when I was a teenager,” says Emma.Ruby dreams of becoming an actor. She says she spends way too much time on her phone, and often ignores her parents while scrolling through TikTok.One concerned parent said the move could result in their child getting "lost in the chaos"."I’m worried how I’ll cope,” he says. “I’ll now have to be sociable with my parents.”
Being consistent is a key factor in positive parenting, which is why following through with the consequences is important. And so is making them realistic. “You can take a teenager's phone away for an hour but taking it away for a week might be difficult to follow through on.”
There comes a time when every parent struggles with how best to discipline their child. Whether dealing with a screaming toddler or an angry teen, it can be hard to control your temper.Being consistent is a key factor in positive parenting, which is why following through with the consequences is important. And so is making them realistic. “You can take a teenager's phone away for an hour but taking it away for a week might be difficult to follow through on.”We consulted Lucie Cluver, Oxford University professor of Child and Family Social Work and mother of two young boys, to explore how the approach can help parents build positive relationships with their children and teach skills like responsibility, cooperation and self-discipline.Rather than punishment and what not to do, the positive discipline approach puts an emphasis on developing a healthy relationship with your child and setting expectations around behaviour. The good news for every parent is it works and here’s how you can start putting it into practice:
How do we ensure that our teenagers reach out to us when things take a turn for the worse? Bec Sparrow shares the top three tips she has learned from the experts in Parental As Anything Teens this season.
Raising teens is tough. Rebecca Sparrow, teen educator and author talks to parents and experts to unpack the biggest challenges of parenting teens and practical tips on how to navigate your teen-sized problems.Good questions! Here are the top three tips I've learned from the experts in Parental As Anything Teens this season.My mum and dad and aunts and uncles were wonderful, loving parents, but it was the early 90s and parenting was a lot more "You are grounded, young lady" than it is now. And so, like many Gen-X teens, we tended to sort stuff out on our own.Bec Sparrow explores parenting teens in the new season of the podcast Parental As Anything.
Parenting teenagers is really in a class all on its own, and it appears Chip Leighton, a comedian and dad has really hit a nerve by sharing his rules for what not to do as a dad of permanently embarrassed teens.
Parenting teenagers is really in a class all on its own, and it appears Chip Leighton, a comedian and dad has really hit a nerve by sharing his rules for what not to do as a dad of permanently emba…His observational humor pointing out just some of the ridiculous things that embarrass teens is highly relatable. ... Chip Leighton went viral on TikTok for his hialrious parenting tips.Chips fourth point is to never smile at a baby when in the company of a teen. “This is super creepy, literally stop,” deadpans the funnyman. Last on his list is the crime of bringing your own chair to a sporting event. ... Leighton highlighted funny anecdotes from parenting his own teens in his video.On the subject of talking to your teens friends, many of the commenters could relate. ... Leighton’s witty advice inspired hilarious comments from other parents.
I grew up in a big family, and my parents didn't discipline us. I decided to adopt an authoritative parenting style with my kids, and it works.
We channel both of our approaches through disciplinarian actions and kindness. This gives our parenting a higher purpose than just trying to keep the peace to get through the day as a family. I've thought about how I would parent my kids for decades. Even as a teenager, I saw how important it was to give attention to your children because my parents didn't always have the time to do so.I grew up seeing how constant chaos with no discipline didn't create the best environment. Some of my siblings lost faith in authority figures. I knew my future parenting style would incorporate more authoritative style, which has proven to be the best thing for my 5-year-old son and 8-year-old daughter.Evaluating my family's dynamics as a kid made me vow that my kids would always know there were consequences for poor choices. When my husband and I decided to have children, we discussed how we'd raise them. I wanted to parent them from a place of logic while prioritizing discipline in response to bad behaviors.Our parenting style encourages emotional stability while equally enacting the consequences that help our children grow into better versions of themselves. ... Don't get me wrong — I'm a softie deep down. Disciplining my children is hard.
In conclusion, the best way to discipline a teenager is with consistency, clarity, and love. Therefore, teens learn to think for themselves while also developing the ability to minimize risk and make good choices. At Newport Academy, we see parents as the solution, not the problem.
In other words, teens don’t have the wisdom or skills yet to make their own decisions about every aspect of their lives. That’s where parents come in. Parents can work with teens to establish clear rules and agreed-upon consequences when rules are broken. Ultimately, loving but firm teen discipline supports adolescent mental health.In order for teen discipline to work, communication and negotiation are necessary. To begin with, parents and teens work well together when they respect each other’s thoughts and opinions. Moreover, children need to feel accepted and loved no matter what. Therefore, parents must make it clear that it’s okay to make mistakes, starting when they are a young child and continuing into adolescence.That’s why the parent’s role is to teach their teen to gather information, think critically, and make good decisions as they grow into a young adult. Ultimately, the goal of teen discipline is to help adolescents develop positive, healthy habits and behaviors.In conclusion, the best way to discipline a teenager is with consistency, clarity, and love. Therefore, teens learn to think for themselves while also developing the ability to minimize risk and make good choices. At Newport Academy, we see parents as the solution, not the problem. We know that as the parent-child connection grows stronger, teen mental health improves. Attachment-Based Family Therapy, the foundational modality for our approach to adolescent treatment, is designed to repair ruptures in the parent-child relationship and restore trust.
Teens need calm, firm discipline in order to thrive during adolescence. Learn how to be his success ambassador.
Frustrated parents go with angry teens like Labrador pups go with Clydesdale horses in Super Bowl commercials. And your story can have a happy ending, too. The secret formula lies in effective discipline.If you master a few core principles for setting rules like a boss, your teen will be a lot easier to manage. But first you need to understand the roots of her rebellion... As a rookie therapist, I was taught that adults from overly strict or overly permissive households generally want to raise their children in the opposite manner in which they were raised. The problem is both dynamics lead to black-and-white parenting. For example, if your folks were overly strict and/or harsh with discipline, it's not uncommon to rebel against rules, or become anti-authority when raising kids of your own.This parent overcompensates by indulging and doing everything for her teen. But without room to explore and make mistakes, Sara doesn't learn to problem solve and become independent. ... Reboot your parenting template. And sometimes this means starting anew with a fresh, clean, discipline slate.Call the host's parents and verify there's adult supervision, ask him to repeat the drinking rule, drive him to the party and/or pick him up, check his breath when the party's over. ... But the tantrum will be temporary. Teens crave structure, especially the defiant kids. They need to know there's a safety net to counter the lack of control they feel internally. Disciplining teens entails untold amounts of time, energy and grunt work.
A positive approach to discipline for pre-teens and teens includes communication, relationships and agreed limits. It guides teens towards positive behaviour.
On top of this the teenage brain goes through massive growth and development during adolescence. As a result, teenagers try new things but don’t always make good decisions. They’re more influenced by peers.You can talk with your child about your agreement and hear what they think should happen as a consequence of breaking it. Often teenagers will be much harsher than their parents.To check whether your family rules are realistic and reasonable, you could talk with other parents who have children of the same age.A positive approach to discipline helps pre-teens and teenagers:
I got to hike a large mountain this year, so I took my teen daughter. She almost quit halfway through; I debated whether I should push her anyway.
History is full of people who failed over and over again until they did something astonishing. As a parent, it's my job to provide a safe place where my kids can land after a failure. They need someone to tell them that it's OK and to talk with them about what they learned.I faced a hard parenting decision during our hike and I'm still not sure I handled it correctly.Sometimes, I'd like this parenting job to come with some definite answers. I feel like I'm winging it. I have no idea if I'm doing it right.But I am confident that I did the right thing in supporting her in her time of need, and that's all I need to do as a parent.
An excerpt from the Positive Discipline for Teenagers book by Dr. Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott. REMEMBER WHEN YOUR teen was a baby just learning to walk? What a milestone. You didn‘t want to miss any of it, and you were very supportive and encouraging. You would take her little hands in yours ...
An excerpt from the Positive Discipline for Teenagers book by Dr. Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott. REMEMBER WHEN YOUR teen was a baby just learning to walk? What a milestone. You didn‘t want to miss any of it, and you were very supportive and encouraging. You would take her little hands in yours and start walking along with her—but you knew you had to let go in order for her to walk by herself.Your toddling child is now a teen who's learning to be an adult. Adolescence is an important part of the individuation process. How does parenting change?ADOLESCENCE IS AN important part of the individuation process. During this time, teens try to find out who they are and separate from their parents. The problem is that most parents tend to do many things during this time that make situations worse instead of better.It is also a time when you can explore your own unresolved teen issues. Every chapter in this book has such valuable information that it was difficult to decide which chapters should be at the beginning. We thought all of the chapters warranted at least first or second status. Therefore, read the chapters in any order that appeals to you, because all of them will help you retrain yourself so you can parent your teen more effectively—and with perspective.
Disciplining without scolding or hitting isn’t just possible – it’s often more effective. Each of these techniques requires patience and practice, but they work wonders in building a strong, loving bond with your child.
Parenting comes with challenging moments, especially when children misbehave. Many parents wonder how to guide their kids without resorting to scolding or hitting. Here are 7 effective ways to discipline children gently yet effectively.
Teens also vary in the rate and ... for discipline, guidance, love and support will vary throughout their teenage years. In the next section we provide some guidelines for parents to help them figure out how to provide direction and boundaries to their adolescents of all ages ...
Teens also vary in the rate and speed that they develop self-discipline and good decision-making skills so their needs for discipline, guidance, love and support will vary throughout their teenage years. In the next section we provide some guidelines for parents to help them figure out how to provide direction and boundaries to their adolescents of all ages without interfering too much, or too little.Discover how parents can strike the right balance between love, discipline, independence, and responsibility when raising teenagers. This balance is crucial for their security, value, and resilience. Get guidelines for providing support and guidance without being overprotective.Discipline, if it is excessive and harsh, can become controlling and abusive while a lack of discipline is a type of neglect. Meanwhile, independence and freedom without responsibility can place youth in highly dangerous situations. To complicate things further, the correct balance constantly changes as youth continue to mature throughout their adolescent period. When parents strike the right balance of love with discipline, liberties with limitations, and independence with responsibility, adolescents feel secure, valued, and loved.Sometimes it is tempting to think of adolescent children as mini-adults who no longer require the same degree of parental support and direction as they once did when they were younger; but, this would be an erroneous conclusion. In fact, during early and middle adolescence, youth may need even more emotional support, guidance, and discipline than their younger siblings.
Managing teenage behavior can be a challenge sometimes, but certain strategies can help. But first, it's important to understand the common challenges teenagers face and how to step into their world.
Even while the goal of raising teens may be to develop their autonomy, it’s important to keep an eye out for mental health issues, such as: ... Consequences, rather than punishments, are an effective way to influence your child's behavior and teach key skills that may be lagging, says Dr. Reynolds. Here are some tips for disciplining teenagers.It's also important to be flexible and willing to rethink your limits as your teen matures. Your relationship should be changing into a more collaborative one, where you still hold the final word. With those tips in mind, you can also choose some specific disciplinary strategies for teens that might work for your family.Typical teen behavior varies quite a bit, but you may see the following: ... The sometimes tumultuous changes of adolescence are a normal part of growing up.Teens like to test the limits of their independence, explains Caroline Fulton, PsyD, a child and adolescent psychologist at Northwestern Medicine Central DuPage Hospital in Winfield, Illinois.
Ask if she wants your suggestions before you offer them. These tips help with everyday communication, but they are even more important when conflicts come along. Calm, consistent, connected communication helps build a stronger relationship with your child and will help when it comes time to ...
Adolescence is filled with opportunities to learn and grow, and so is parenting adolescents. No one gets it right all the time, so give yourself a break when a teen discipline strategy doesn't go well.Establish rules and connect and communicate with your rebellious teen by using our positive parenting techniques. GetParentingTips.com offers resources to help parents, caregivers, childcare providers, community members, companies, and organizations give our children hope for a brighter future.The Get Parenting Tips website offers expert advice and resources to help parents and caregivers give our children hope for a brighter future.Acknowledging her feelings and offering your support is a great form of positive parenting. Ask if she wants your suggestions before you offer them. These tips help with everyday communication, but they are even more important when conflicts come along. Calm, consistent, connected communication helps build a stronger relationship with your child and will help when it comes time to discipline your teen.
Managing teenage behavior can be a challenge sometimes, but certain strategies can help. But first, it's important to understand the common challenges teenagers face and how to step into their world.
Even while the goal of raising teens may be to develop their autonomy, it’s important to keep an eye out for mental health issues, such as: ... Consequences, rather than punishments, are an effective way to influence your child's behavior and teach key skills that may be lagging, says Dr. Reynolds. Here are some tips for disciplining teenagers.It's also important to be flexible and willing to rethink your limits as your teen matures. Your relationship should be changing into a more collaborative one, where you still hold the final word. With those tips in mind, you can also choose some specific disciplinary strategies for teens that might work for your family.Typical teen behavior varies quite a bit, but you may see the following: ... The sometimes tumultuous changes of adolescence are a normal part of growing up.Teens like to test the limits of their independence, explains Caroline Fulton, PsyD, a child and adolescent psychologist at Northwestern Medicine Central DuPage Hospital in Winfield, Illinois.
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